Does Wearing My Collar “Force” Others to Participate in My D/s Relationship?

by Kayla Lords · Published October 21, 2026 · Updated October 20, 2026

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:09:51 — 67.1MB)

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The title of this week’s episode is a “whoa” kind of question (at least to us). We discuss whether kink symbols (like collars) or subtle acts – that aren’t overtly kinky – mean that you must get consent from other people (strangers or people you know) if you want to do it in public. (Spoiler: No.)

In this episode:

This week’s episode comes from a question from a long-time listener.
- She gave permission to share on the podcast, but we want to focus on one specific main point that came up – although the context of the entire situation is much more complex than this.
Quotes from the original letter
- “She said that, by wearing my collar, I am involving her in our kink without her consent.”
- “She demanded that I remove my collar any and every time I see her. Not just out in public, BUT IN MY OWN HOME, TOO.”
- “I tried to defend myself with things I found on google, that defended my perspective, which is that my collar is NOT involving others in our kink. She came back with her own google searches that defended her perspective that wearing a collar, EVEN A DISCRETE DAY COLLAR, is 100% involving others in your kink.”