Q&A: Is There a Way to Be Okay With Being Called Mommy or Daddy?

by Kayla Lords · Published March 24, 2025 · Updated March 21, 2025

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A Domme wants to give their submissive what he wants – to call his partner Mommy – but it’s jarring to hear.

Here’s the question:

I stepped back into the BDSM lifestyle as a Domme about two years ago after a 18 year hiatus. Sexuality and kink have long been passions of mine and even when I wasn’t living my truth as a dominant, I’ve always been very passionate about the proverbial “never yuck someone else’s yum” mentality. And I have zero tolerance for kink shaming.

I’ve been very fortunate these last 2 1/2 years to find amazing resources, such as your podcast. And I’ve met some really amazing people, including my current submissive. We met about six months ago. He has been a fantastic submissive and it has been great fun witnessing our evolution both individually and together. Our communication foundation is strong and one of the things I am most proud of about our dynamic. MANY of our kink needs align but like most things in life nothing is perfect.

I recall a while back JB mentioning that initially he had challenges with the “Daddy” role/title. My submissive is very interested in adding a “Mommy” title to our dynamic. With him my Domme energy is definitely “motherly” – caring and nurturing. And I enjoy calling him my “good boy” very much.

Mommy has slipped out a few times in our play lately and in the moment I let it slide. It’s not a hard limit. However, I am actually a Mother. So it’s jarring to hear it directed at me during our scenes. I know he would absolutely stop saying it if I asked him to. But I know how much pleasure it would give him If I allowed it. And like many Dominants, I’m all about using the things that pleasure my submissive to my full sadistic advantage. So I would love to hear any advice you can give especially from you JB about how you came to be ok with the Daddy title.