Q&A: How Can a People Pleaser Explore Their Bratty Side?

by Kayla Lords · Published March 17, 2025 · Updated March 15, 2025

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A submissive knows they’re a people pleaser, but they also want to explore their bratty side.

Here’s the question:

I am a submissive who’s been exploring kink for a few years now. I have trauma from my childhood from people close to me abandoning me for seemingly no reason or because I annoyed them by saying something slightly wrong. Maybe also from people laughing at me for saying things in a funny way or at the wrong moment. This has caused me to become a severe people pleaser who’s constantly afraid of doing or saying the wrong thing.

I know I have a bratty side that I want to explore. I like cnc and feel like i just want to say to my Dom “make me” with a bratty little smirk on my face. I feel like I want to find all of his buttons and push them until he decides to put me in my place. I find the idea of a man being angry/yelling at me deeply arousing and slightly terrifying.

Being in a loving relationship and building trust with my Dom has obviously helped a lot with my fear of abandonment but I still find it hard to just do what I want or even think of the things I would want to do in the moment.

Any tips or tricks on how to build my confidence and conquer my fears?