Q&A: How Do We Maintain Our D/s Dynamic?

by Kayla Lords · Published January 20, 2025 · Updated January 15, 2025

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A Dominant wants to support their submissive but they don’t know how to do that and maintain their D/s dynamic.

Here’s the question:

My wife has voiced interest in kink play. She is submissive by nature (seems a bit like Kayla – submissive but with attitude at times lol). She has had trauma around sex as a teenager, and she also takes medication for depression.

Sometimes she is keen to submit and others she is quite shut down and gets caught in her conflict about how she really feels. I find it difficult to maintain a power exchange because her mood/mindset is so unpredictable.

I would love some advice as to how we can make this work. I certainly don’t want to exacerbate her trauma. I’m not sure how to be loving and empathetic while keeping her in her place as my sub. Any help would be greatly appreciated.