Q&A: How Do I Talk About My Mental Health?

by Kayla Lords · Published November 18, 2024 · Updated November 14, 2024

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A kinkster who’s been dealing with burnout, depression, and other personal stuff wonders how and when to bring up their mental health to a new partner.

Here’s the question:

My question is – as someone wanting to start a dynamic, or before I attempt to even get to know a Dom, how do I navigate talking about my mental health and the place that I’m in? Or better yet, how do I know I’m in a good place to even try?

Long story short, I’m recovering from a burnout period, I got diagnosed with depression and I’ve been receiving counseling etc. I have family problems, but who doesn’t, and I guess, I’m worried that I might cause harm to a potential play partner or person I’m in a dynamic with if I’m not “okay”.

I realize that the term okay is relative and not a set idea or thought, but I also know that I don’t want to ever utilize a Dom as a tool. They are people too and I don’t ever want to intentionally or unintentionally cause a person harm.

So overall I’m asking… If I’m still healing, what’s the best way to go about meeting a Dom/building a dynamic with them or should I hold off for now? Also, how much do I have to let them know at the start, because I don’t want to trauma dump on them either.