Q&A: Can I Be My Authentic Kinky Self With a Vanilla Friend?

by Kayla Lords · Published February 12, 2024 · Updated February 8, 2024

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A kinkster wants to be their most authentic self with a close friend but isn’t sure it’s working.

Here’s the question:

I am currently struggling in a friendship and wondered if yall had any insight. This is a fairly new (less than a year) friendship where we started out very fast and connected right off the bat. I shared with her (27F) that I am into kink and live a Dom/sub / power exchange relationship.

There have been a few conversations that haven’t sat right with me and since I’ve taken a far step back from the relationship. Outside of these talks, there have been other ‘vanilla’ conflicts that we have had as well. We did a big sit down about a month or so ago, where we talked about all of the above.

However, after processing that conversation, I still have the red flag waving in front of my face with her. I am an anxious introvert, and an in person community is something I desire (currently working my way there). Being able to be authentic is important to me, and being able to share with my friend is also important. What do y’all think?