How Do I Get More Kinky Fun When I Hate Planning For It?

by Kayla Lords · Published October 23, 2023 · Updated November 3, 2023

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 17:20 — 20.1MB)

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This week, we’re talking about something that might be more common than you think — needing to plan and schedule your kink scenes but feeling like that kills the spontaneity.

Here’s the question:

How do you make space for BDSM play? Me and my sub have a 24/7 service oriented D/s. We like several more play-based BDSM activities but we don’t do them as often as we want. I feel easily forced when we plan play, even if I plan it myself. But spontaneous play also doesn’t seem to happen as often as we want.

There is also the factor of sexual tension that stops me from doing play. I don’t want it to end up with sex all the time but I feel very forced that way when boners are present. I don’t really know how to get away from this connection in my head even though my sub says to just ignore the boner.

Listen to the episode for our thoughts.