Saying “No” In D/s Relationships

by Kayla Lords · Published June 28, 2019 · Updated June 27, 2019

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No means no, until you negotiate something different in your D/s relationship. No can be a kinky act of denial or it can be a way to maintain boundaries. The one thing that’s definite about the word no in D/s — it’s complicated. At least, it can be. So let’s talk about it.

In this episode:

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There’s more to saying no in D/s than we sometimes imagine.
Dominant says no to deny their submissive something in a kinky way
Dominant says no for their submissive’s own good — within the parameters of their relationship
Dominants will say no because they can (which can be an abuse of power and a red flag)
Submissives may not feel comfortable saying no — believing it makes them less submissive
They may not want to say no because they don’t want to deny their partner
No is a complete sentence but in D/s, it should also be the start of a conversation.
“No” is a way to play as a brat.
Dominants may not want to say no to a partner even though they think it’s the best response.