Actively Participating in Your D/s Relationship

by Kayla Lords · Published April 19, 2019 · Updated April 18, 2019

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:35:04 — 62.7MB)

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Many of us might yearn for a life where we decide things will happen, and then they just do…as if by magic. But in the real world, we only get the healthy D/s relationship we want (or anything else) by actively participating in it. Yes, even when it’s scary and difficult.

This isn’t the first time we’ve mentioned the need to actively participating in your relationship, but it is the first time we devote more than an hour to the topic. We also, briefly, discuss how participating in a different way than in the past can lead to a different kinky fuckery experience, too!

In this episode:

This will seem obvious, but it’s easy to forget — participation is required in D/s
Submissives can’t JUST do what they’re told.
Dominants can’t JUST sit back and have someone do anything they want.
Participation is about making a D/s relationship work and stay healthy, but it’s also about finding new ways to have fun and explore your kinky side.
Not every partner can’t participate at the level you need them to. This might mean they’re not the right partner for you — no matter how much you care about them.
Sometimes, one or both of you will participate a little less because life gets in the way. It doesn’t mean you don’t want the dynamic or that you’re any less Dom or sub. But communication is required in these moments.
You may have to help your partner find the right conditions so they can participate — safety, trust, communication.