Going Slow and Having Patience in D/s Relationships

by Kayla Lords · Published January 25, 2019 · Updated February 10, 2019

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It might seem strange for a notoriously impatient person (Kayla, here!) to tell everyone else to be patient, but the world is a strange place. Also, in D/s relationships and new kinky experiences, patience tends to make things better — long term. But we get it. When you figure out you’re kinky or you want to experience it with someone, you want it RIGHT NOW. This week, we’re making the case for going slower than you think you should and having patience with yourself and your partner.

In this episode:

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We get a lot of email from kinksters detailing issues in their relationship. That can be from a lot of things but lately, it’s been new kinksters who were so excited to start their D/s relationship, they may have rushed things a bit.
So we’re talking about how and why to take things slow in your D/s relationship and as you explore BDSM.
Patience is key.
Subfrenzy and a desire to “make up for lost time” can be part of it.
Excitement over finally feeling yourself or wanting to try everything can also be a reason.
Overwhelm yourself or your partner
Give up in defeat, thinking it’s not for you
Might not even know what you really like yet, and are only going by stereotypes or what “everyone” else is doing.
Start with one or two things. Explore them and do them until you’re comfortable.
Then add something else.
This isn’t a race. It’s a journey.