Deciding Who’s Real and Who’s a Fake in the Online BDSM World LB141
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Catfishing is something most of us probably already know and worry about in the online dating world. But what about the friends you make and the resources you trust online? How do you figure out who’s fake and who’s real? It’s not easy. But we definitely have thoughts on it, especially if some of those fakes are dispensing bad or dangerous BDSM advice.
In this episode:
- Check out our sponsor: Delirium Toys
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- Buy some kinky fuckery at our shop and save!
- This week’s episode came by email request from a fellow kinkster trying to navigate the online world of advice and fellow kinksters, trying to figure out who’s real.
- It’s also timely because of a recent article I read that Molly Moore shared on an epic catfishing betrayal by a woman pretending to be man. Yes, it happens sexually and romantically most often, but not always.
- People can be anyone they want to be on the internet, and that’s (mostly) okay. But when lies start impacting real people, then it’s problematic.
- How do you figure out if someone’s real or not?
- Watch their actions
- Look for inconsistencies
- Listen to your instincts. If something doesn’t seem right, it probably isn’t.
- Should you speak up or call someone out for their duplicity? It depends and it’s a personal decision.
Links from the show:
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The Wood Dom – Use code NEWSHOP to save 10 percent (August 2018 only)
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Great topic, great job. This is all too real for so many people.
Thanks. And you’re right, which is why it’s so harmful when someone comes along and pretends to be someone they’re not.
It is harmful! Its the biggest mind fuck too. Sticks with you forever.
Yep, makes it hard to trust anyone else in the future and you end up doubting yourself. Which is why we emphasized listening to your instincts when something doesn’t seem right. It’s not a perfect solution, but hopefully people can walk away from the situation trusting their own judgement.
Thank you for another amazing episode! You gave helpful advice and skillfully discussed a very real issue
Good job 🙂
Aww, thank you!
Enjoyed your show! I might add the ‘kink shamer’ to your list. The ‘expert’ who trashes others ‘non-purest’ style of living 24/7 D/s or M/s in RL as somehow inferior to some standard. When upon investigation it is revealed they have no portfolio other than an on-line fantasy with “Master INCOGNITO” or Gor or whatever.
Not long ago, I came to accept and understand the importance “on-line” D/s relationships and BDSM sex play connections play as a vital part of the BDSM community. For some its all they got. But its not REAL LIFE. Real life would be holding your submissive love in your arms as she dies, [Thanks for the chance to vent].
Listened to this older episode but…wow! I ignored my gut this past weekend and while I don’t know if the guy I went out with was necessarily a “fake”, he was definitely not as experienced as he claimed to be. He did not have the appropriate respect for limits and safe words as an experienced Dom would and as a result, I was injured more than I should have been. I said “buh bye” to him!! When he asked me why I didn’t want to play again I said “I have concerns around your respect for limits and safe words.” And his only response was that he hopes to one day change my mind because “I had such a great time with you”….boy BYE.
UGH! I am so glad you kicked him to the proverbial curb.