The Reality of Squirting
Thank you, Molly and Kink of the Week for this week’s topic – squirting. I’m a squirter, and I love talking about it. Hell, I went on a massive tirade a few years ago when a study came out claiming it was urine. Squirting isn’t a kink thing, but like everything else, it can have a place in your kinky life.
Forced orgasms with the Original Magic Wand, anyone? Being called a dirty slut as each gush of fluid leaves your body? Licking your own ejaculate off the toy or body of your partner? Those are just a few ways John Brownstone and I make my ability to squirt extremely kinky.
Whether you fetishize squirting or not, if you think it might be something you want to experience, there are a few things you need to know.
Squirting is Real
Let’s get one thing straight – squirting is real. Not everyone with a vulva can do it, and not everyone who can do it gushes like a geyser, but it’s a thing. As someone who has nearly drowned John Brownstone during a face-sitting session, I can assure you, copious amounts of fluid can leave the body and not be urine.
The debate on squirting – in science and in the rest of the world – is about what the fluid that comes out of a woman’s body actually is. Some say urine. Others (myself included) say it’s ejaculate. Science has found that the chemical compound is similar to urine but with key differences (in some women). For me, it’s not up for debate so I’ll leave the urine or not urine question alone. But when someone says squirting only happens in porn and only through a bit of trickery, I say you’re wrong.
Not Everyone Can Squirt
As sexy and kinky as squirting is for some people, not everyone can do it. And just because you can one day doesn’t mean you will the next day. Again, I know from personal experience. Some people set out on a quest to make themselves or their partner squirt, and when it doesn’t happen, they think they’ve failed. The reality is that our bodies are all wired a little differently.
Think of squirting in the same way you might think of kinky pain. Sometimes I can handle a rough spanking, and sometimes I can’t. Not into pain? Compare it to subspace. Sometimes I float after a heavy scene, and sometimes I don’t. The same is true with squirting. Sometimes I can, and sometimes I can’t. But the more you try to do a thing, the less likely you are to achieve it. In the end, you’re frustrated and definitely not sexually satisfied.
How to Squirt
Remember when I said our bodies are all wired differently? The same is true with squirting methods. The common wisdom is that squirting requires g-spot stimulation. For some people, that’s true. Get a vibrator or really vigorous g-spot tapping, and if it’s meant to be, you or your partner will squirt.
That doesn’t work for me, at least not consistently. I need really vigorous, heavy clitoral stimulation. A heavy-duty vibrator (like the Original Magic Wand) or a strong, concentrated clitoral vibrator usually does the trick. Some people squirt once, and they’re done. Others of us can squirt multiple times. For me, it starts with a small gush of fluid, followed by more explosive geyser-like ejaculations later.
Most of us discover we can squirt by accident. Either we don’t know we can or we’re trying, but we don’t believe it will really happen. Before we know it, the right buttons have been pushed, and the bed, the toy, and our partner are all soaked. If you haven’t yet, but think you might, here are a few tricks John Brownstone and I have learned over the years:
- Always drink water. I’ve become severely dehydrated and lightheaded after a big squirting session.
- Drink water before you play. If I’m even a little dehydrated before we get kinky, I won’t squirt at all.
- Keep towels around. We have friends who put down an old shower curtain to keep everything dry.
- Watch out for your toys. If your vibrator isn’t waterproof, you run the risk of killing it if you continuously squirt over it.
- Don’t play too rough once the squirting begins. Because dehydration is a real risk and squirting can be genuinely exhausting, take it easy on other forms of play. Truly, forced squirting orgasms can be the entire scene – and probably should be.
Can a Submissive Squirt on Command?
In case this wasn’t clear in the rest of this, the answer is…probably not. I have no doubt there’s someone out there who can and does squirt in every orgasm, but I think they’re the exception, not the rule. Most of us who can squirt can’t do it for every orgasm. Squirting on command is unrealistic and can be potentially stressful. No submissive wants to feel like they failed, so don’t set yourself up for it.
Stay realistic about squirting. For those who enjoy it (and not everyone does), treat it like the happy surprise that it is. Marvel at the volume of liquid or distance it flies across the room. Enjoy the pleasure you feel. But don’t demand a squirting orgasm – from yourself or your partner.
Anything can be kinked up, and anything can be a fetish. Squirting orgasms and the squirters who squirt them are no different. But it’s also important to be realistic about it, too. Go easy on yourself and focus on the pleasure, even if you don’t orgasm. Thinking of squirting like really wet icing on a potentially kinky cake.
Okay, we’re dying to know – what do you think about squirting orgasms? Have you experienced them? Are you interested in trying to squirt? Tell us in the comments below!