Handling Other People’s Opinion of Your D/s Relationship LB069

by Kayla Lords · Published January 6, 2017 · Updated January 19, 2020

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Episode 69 (bow chicka wow wow) is the first episode of 2017 and after a holiday spent with friends and family, it felt right to do a topic based on a listener’s question: How do you handle the negative opinions from vanilla family and friends over your D/s relationship?

In this episode:

John Brownstone received a slightly judgy comment on a blog post calling our kink “abuse.”
A lot of us have just spent extra time around family and friends, some of who might wonder about your kinky relationship, whether you’re out or not.
You might get comments, looks, or judgement from those who don’t know you’re kinky but maybe notice something different.
Or, like at least one listener, judgement from those who do know and don’t approve.
Coming out to anyone about your kink is a personal decision and there’s no right or wrong answer about what to do.
Before you share your kinky life with others, assess possible risks – people lose jobs and kids over their kink.
One way to “deal” with vanilla friends and family who make snide remarks or judge you is to develop a thick skin and confidence in who you are as a kinkster and a person – but it takes time.
You may never change their mind, but you don’t have to. Be who you are, and they will either accept it or not.
If you have to, remove yourself from the conversation, change the subject, or avoid their presence (if possible).
If a “friend” is refusing to believe you or listen to you, and says mean, ugly things to you, are they really your friend?
As with other things in life where we disagree – think politics – you can still love someone you don’t understand or agree with – your family and friends should be able to do the same thing. And hopefully they will.