Sex and Kink in a D/s Relationship LB010

2 Responses

  1. Elbs says:

    I think you’re misunderstanding what demisexual means. It doesn’t mean being unwilling to have sex without a connection, but actually not feeling sexual attraction. A demisexual person doesn’t ever find strangers hot. It’s not about what you choose, but how you feel. Sapiosexual, too – a sapiosexual doesn’t just find smarts a turn on, they literally can’t feel attracted to someone if they don’t know how smart that person is.

    • Kayla Lords says:

      I see what you’re saying, but I also believe our sexuality exists on a spectrum. What I interpret these things to mean is that regardless of whether they’re objectively attractive or not, I am unable to feel sexual desire OR a willingness to have sex with them until I have a connection and if I believe they are intelligent which is an extremely subjective thing because there are so many ways to be intelligent, so I should say “intelligent to me.” Did I express this view very well 90+ episodes ago? Possibly not. My own understanding of my sexuality has evolved since then, and I may have been awkward or misspoken in my views on the topic. But I now consider myself to be a demisexual and sapiosexual based on how I connect with people, and how I feel sexual desire. Other people, at the other end of those spectrums, may be more set in their demisexuality/sapiosexuality and not even see someone’s objective attractiveness. I think there’s room for all of us in the spectrum.

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