4 Different Types of Kinky Scenes
Kinky scenes are like labels – they mean something different to everyone. For us, a scene is just how we get kinky together. It could be some kinky fuckery in the bedroom or using equipment in our local BDSM dungeon. But your kinky scene could be something completely different – more elaborate, more well-planned, just…more.
For anyone wondering what a kinky scene can be – or how to make one happen – here are four different types of kinky scenes.
Playtime
Most of our scenes are what we call “playtime.” For us, this means that we take anywhere from a few minutes to an hour or more and get kinky. The floggers and paddles might be brought out. Sometimes it’s a bare-handed spanking. Playtime may or may not lead to sex. Forced orgasms, double penetration with dildos and vibrators, edged orgasms – depending on John Brownstone’s mood (or mine), playtime can be pure sex.
Playtime is rarely elaborate although it can be well-planned by a Dominant alone or together. When we play, it’s often based on a need one or both of us have (relieve tension, reconnect, etc.). It’s also something that we both find pleasurable that hits on one or more kinks – sadism and masochism, bondage, or orgasm control. It may or may not incorporate “dirty talk.”
Mind Fucks
The beauty of a mind fuck is that an entire “scene” can play out in the mind of a submissive with a just few words. The “scene” is what that submissive believes, makes themselves think, or how they react to the possibility of something that only entered their mind with a few words from a Dominant. Sometimes the mind fuck is what makes the scene seem real – “playing” with knives but no knife is present; believing you’ve been kidnapped when it’s really your partner.
I have had my mind fucked by John Brownstone while he cracked a belt next to my ear and stood over me (loomed is more like it) in a clothed male, naked female (CMNF) scene. He never touched me and said very little. The scene was my belief (and fear) that I was about to be spanked with a belt. By the time he was done, I was a quivering mess and very compliant with whatever he wanted. That night, all he wanted was me to remember who owned me and lots of cuddles.
Roleplay
I’m not a huge fan of roleplay. I didn’t like it in school when we had to do weird group work. I hated it in the corporate world where it was the favorite trick of trainers and consultants to make employees practice a new concept or technique. It’s just not for me, but it’s extremely popular for many kinksters. You and your partner take on a role that you find sexy or fun – teacher/student, cop/criminal, pirate/kidnapped wench, mermaid/sailor – and you act out a scene within those roles.
Like anything else we do in kink, it often features a power exchange of sorts, but it can easily be turned on its head. Maybe the criminal corrupts the good cop. Maybe the sailor ravishes the mermaid instead of falls into her trap. You just never know. For people who enjoy it, it can be a sexy way to play pretend. You can make it as elaborate as you want – some people have costumes, use accents, and behave completely different than their typical selves.
Consensual Non-consent
Consensual non-consent is a controversial topic in the world of kink. Can you really consent to give up consent? Should you? That’s a personal decision we have to make on our own. I’m not going to lecture anyone who wants to be “kidnapped and raped” as part of an elaborate scene. Submissives should, however, only do this kind of scene with someone you trust completely and who will stop if things go too far. This isn’t the first scene you should have with a new partner, m’kay?
The most important part of this scene is to negotiate it first. Will other people be involved in the scene? Will you have a safeword or signal? What will you allow in the scene and what isn’t okay? There should also be a serious conversation about triggers and past abuse or problems. This isn’t the time to hide something that, if triggered, could cause real mental and emotional damage. Don’t worry that these discussions will somehow ruin the effect. If the top/Dominant adds in a few good mind fucks, it will likely feel real enough.
It doesn’t matter what you call the moment you and your partner decide to get kinky. Call it a scene, call it playtime, or call it how you have sex. What does matter is that you negotiate what it will look like, talk about your limits, set up parameters, and stay safe.
Okay, so we know these aren’t the only types of scenes out there. Feel free to share what kind of scene you love! In episode 85 of the podcast, we talk about setting a kinky scene. Check it out for more info!
