Ethics and Responsibilities in High-Risk Kink Play

by Kayla Lords · Published July 4, 2025 · Updated July 3, 2025

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:07:58 — 72.3MB)

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All kink carries some level of risk but certain activities are known to be genuinely dangerous. Should kinksters who engage in these scenes – with full consent from both parties – be “allowed” to continue in places like dungeons or play parties? Is a Dom or Top inherently unethical for even allowing it regardless of whether their partner consents or not? Let’s talk about it.

In this episode:

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Thanks to Princess Rara for this week’s topic
The situation Rara shared with us: A Top posted that she did electro on someone with a pacemaker. The Top joked that the bottom almost died but it was worth it because the bottom.was hot. And she claims the bottom asked for it. Electro can short circuit the pacemaker causing it to malfunction and/or fail.
The questions that Rara asked: Is there ever a point where, even if both people fully consent, the risk is too great—and the scene just shouldn’t happen? And if so, who gets to make that call? Can a community or dungeon decide that some kinks are too dangerous, or is that crossing a line into policing personal autonomy?
Other situations that might be similar:
- Using a too-hot wax in wax play
- Hitting soft tissue and other high-risk areas in impact play
All BDSM is risky vs genuine high-risk activities (things people are actively taught NOT to do in kink)
Dungeon and party host responsibility
Top/Dom ethics