Q&A: How Do I Get Out of My Head During Sex?

by Kayla Lords · Published February 3, 2025 · Updated February 2, 2025

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 23:01 — 25.1MB)

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This week, a submissive can’t stop worrying about her partner’s previous sexual experience but her Dominant also worries he’s not giving her big enough orgasms.

Here’s the question:

My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. He’s an experienced Dom and my Daddy Dom, and I’m a bratty baby girl.

The sex we have is amazing and we aren’t always in our D/s roles during that time. With that said he is worried I don’t enjoy sexy time because I don’t always have an orgasm. I’ve explained I don’t need to have one to be satisfied or happy with the moment. I love it. And I do have them, just not world crushing, earth moving orgasms.

I’m a mother of 5 and both of us are in our late 40s. I know I get into my head because he is very experienced in sex and D/s. Though he is open minded. We talk about it. We even have sex with the lights on. That’s not one of my insecurities.

But how do I get out of my head that he is willing to help me get there for an orgasm and not comparing me to anyone before or his experience. We’ve done check-ins, and we love to connect. But I strongly feel this is my main issue. As I can make myself orgasm by myself no issues.