Q&A: How Do I Enjoy Scenes with a Nervous Domme?

by Kayla Lords · September 30, 2024

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 15:19 — 17.2MB)

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A submissive isn’t having a good time during scenes with their nervous Domme — and is getting more and more frustrated.

Here’s the question:

Hello! So I’m in a relationship with a woman who is very new to kink and calling herself a domme. I have some experience with a couple other girlfriends in the past. I don’t think she understands the whole idea of power exchange so I am having to keep telling her that everything feels good during a scene and it’s exhausting and I can’t just relax and enjoy the sensation.

She seems very worried that she will hurt me no matter how much I explain that I like the sensations. It’s like she doesn’t believe me and/or trust herself. It makes me hesitant to even play with her because it’s too much energy going out for me to convince her that it’s all okay and feels good. And we are only using some floggers and a bit of spanking and paddling-nothing heavy. I’m this close to yelling at her to step into her damn power. Help!!