Q&A: How Do I Tell My Partner I Want to Switch?

by Kayla Lords · Published July 8, 2024 · Updated July 8, 2024

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 11:03 — 12.4MB)

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A submissive who was once the Dominant in their power exchange wants to add their Dom energy back to the dynamic but isn’t sure how to talk to their partner about it.

Here’s the question:

My husband and I met through Fetlife in 2021 when I was a dominatrix and participated in scenes with myself as the dominant and my now husband as my submissive. In 2023 we shifted our dynamic and he has discovered a love for being a daddy dom with me taking the role as a submissive.

I love the sexual aspect of our relationship, we attend a local club and scene together and do scenes at home. However, I miss the lifestyle aspect of our relationship (the service and the honorifics specifically). This is where it gets tricky, I want the lifestyle as a dominant and the scenes as a submissive. How do I work out a way to bring this up to my partner? I feel quite shitty about this because it feels like I’m using him to vent though I know logically this isn’t the case.