Sadism and Masochism in a D/s Relationship LB061
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Kayla Lords and John Brownstone discuss sadism and masochism in a D/s relationship in episode 61 of the Loving BDSM podcast.
In this episode:
- John Brownstone is having a sale on his (very vanilla) Etsy shop – The Wood Dom!
- S & M is separate from D/s – you can be one, but not the other.
- Not every kinkster is into pain.
- One of you can be into it and not the other and still make it work
- A non-masochist sub may consider it part of their submission, another way to make a Dominant happy; a non-sadist may try it out to make a submissive happy or fill a need
- You can “outsource” S&M if one of you is into it and the other isn’t – find someone you like and trust who can top or bottom for you to fulfill that need, a play partner
- Common myths:
- Only one type of S&M play – the extreme stuff
- Masochists/subs are supposed to be quiet all the time – LOL
- S & M is very serious business – yes, it is because of safety issues but there’s room for fun and laughter, too
- Sadists are mean and masochists are extreme
- S&M isn’t always about sharp pain – it can be about torture and fear in a variety of forms:
- Edged/forced orgasms
- Mind fucks
- Teasing
- Humiliation play
- Tickling
- Sensation play
- Impact play
- S&M can cause pain in one of three ways: physical, mental, or emotional (or a combination) – another reason to play very safe and use safewords and give aftercare
- Dom Space – hyper focused on submissive and the scene
- Sub Space – high on feel good chemicals
Links from the show:
The Wood Dom – John Brownstone’s Etsy shop – use code WOODDOM for 20 percent off $25 purchase (November 2016 only!)
Try These Kinky Forced Orgasm Scenarios (Kinkly)
You Don’t Have to Like All Kinds of Pain to Call Yourself a Masochist (Kinkly)
Spankings (podcast episode)
Message or friend us on Fetlife
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