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About us

WHAT DO WE DO ?

We help kinksters like you have happy, healthy power exchange relationships. No matter how you define BDSM and no matter what kind of kinky relationship you want, we’re here to help!

WHO ARE WE ?

We are John Brownstone (the Dom) and Kayla Lords (the sub), a married D/s couple, sharing our thoughts, feelings, and experiences on this thing we call BDSM.

Grow and Learn With Us!

Listen

In our weekly podcast, we discuss all aspects of how to have a happy, healthy power exchange relationship.

Watch

You can watch the podcast during a weekly live stream, plus learn more about BDSM, check out product reviews, and more!

Join

We believe in having a community to help you grow and to offer support on this BDSM journey. Join our kinky community on Patreon!

banner with Loving BDSM logos and text extra help, info, and fun stuff

Feel like a total noob? Don’t know what you don’t know? We offer resources for new kinksters here on our site and a list of resources you can find around the internet. Start with D/s for Beginners and then check out our BDSM resource page.

Still trying to figure out how you feel about D/s, power exchange, and BDSM? Get the 30 Days of D/s workbook to help you think about BDSM in a more manageable way and figure out what YOU want. Buy it here.

Do you like BDSM toys, kinky gear, and fun swag? You can shop John Brownstone’s kinky store at The Kinkery or at the Loving BDSM Etsy shop!

Got a kinky question about D/s relationships, the BDSM community, or something else you’d like to know more about? Ask your question here and it could be answered in a future podcast episode!

Check out the Loving BDSM Blog

We share tips and how-tos, answer BDSM questions, offer our thoughts and insight, share product reviews, and publish the show notes for every podcast episode on our blog! Take a look!

humiliation as a kink episode 121

Humiliation as a Kink LB121

Humiliation as a kink isn’t something everybody wants or likes. Even people who aren’t into it, though, sometimes wish they understood it. In loving D/s relationships, how you someone let themselves be treated so...

man covering face in embarrassment with title overlay what is humiliation play

What is Humiliation Play?

One of our favorite ways to play in a scene is with a bit of humiliation. The act isn’t as important as how it makes me feel – turned on, shocked, and “put in...

two hands held up in support to indicate how to build each other up in a D/s relationship

How to Build Each Other Up in a D/s Relationship

I’m never completely sure why D/s relationships and the BDSM lifestyle are treated as if they’re completely divorced from reality. Our roles are clearly outlined; consent is required; and it only works when everyone...

bear claws for scratching

8 Things to Know About Scratching

Raking your nails down your partner’s back during good sex. Adding a bit of spice during a back rub. Getting your partner’s attention when their back is turned. These are just some of the...