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About us


We help kinksters like you have happy, healthy power exchange relationships. No matter how you define BDSM and no matter what kind of kinky relationship you want, we’re here to help!


We are John Brownstone (the Dom) and Kayla Lords (the sub), a married D/s couple, sharing our thoughts, feelings, and experiences on this thing we call BDSM.

Grow and Learn With Us!


In our weekly podcast, we discuss all aspects of how to have a happy, healthy power exchange relationship.


You can watch the podcast during a weekly live stream, plus learn more about BDSM, check out product reviews, and more!


We believe in having a community to help you grow and to offer support on this BDSM journey. Join our kinky community on Patreon!

banner with Loving BDSM logos and text extra help, info, and fun stuff

Still trying to figure out how you feel about D/s, power exchange, and BDSM? Sign up for 30 Days of D/s, a free email program to help you think about BDSM in a more manageable way and figure out what YOU want. Learn more here.

In 2021, we’re re-introducing Kinky Book Club and encouraging kinksters who enjoy reading to join in! We’ll alternate between fiction and non-fiction books. Discussions will be videos on our YouTube channel with more conversations happening in our Patron-only Discord server. View the 2021 list here!

Feel like a total noob? Don’t know what you don’t know? We offer resources for new kinksters here on our site and a list of resources you can find around the internet. Start with D/s for Beginners and then check out our BDSM resource page.

Do you like BDSM toys, kinky gear, and fun swag? You can shop John Brownstone’s kinky store at The Kinkery or buy Loving BDSM merch on Redbubble!

Check out the Loving BDSM Blog

We share tips and how-tos, answer BDSM questions, offer our thoughts and insight, share product reviews, and publish the show notes for every podcast episode on our blog! Take a look!

Listener Questions Part 1 LB087

In episode 87, we lie about how short the episode will be and how many listener questions we can answer. Hint: we only finish answering one question. There are no real show notes, but...

The 5 Love Languages: Book Review

What language do you speak? Well, mostly, whatever language you grew up with or a combination of multiple languages. What love language do you speak? We have all heard the term “the language of...

Setting a Kinky Scene LB085

Setting a Kinky Scene LB085

This week, we’re answering a listener question with more details than they actually asked for. The original question was about how to set up a scene. In our opinion, a scene is whatever you...

4 Types of Kinky Scenes

4 Different Types of Kinky Scenes

Kinky scenes are like labels – they mean something different to everyone. For us, a scene is just how we get kinky together. It could be some kinky fuckery in the bedroom or using...

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