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About us


We help kinksters like you have happy, healthy power exchange relationships. No matter how you define BDSM and no matter what kind of kinky relationship you want, we’re here to help!


We are John Brownstone (the Dom) and Kayla Lords (the sub), a married D/s couple, sharing our thoughts, feelings, and experiences on this thing we call BDSM.

Grow and Learn With Us!


In our weekly podcast, we discuss all aspects of how to have a happy, healthy power exchange relationship.


You can watch the podcast during a weekly live stream, plus learn more about BDSM, check out product reviews, and more!


We believe in having a community to help you grow and to offer support on this BDSM journey. Join our kinky community on Patreon!

banner with Loving BDSM logos and text extra help, info, and fun stuff

Still trying to figure out how you feel about D/s, power exchange, and BDSM? Sign up for 30 Days of D/s, a free email program to help you think about BDSM in a more manageable way and figure out what YOU want. Learn more here.

In 2021, we’re re-introducing Kinky Book Club and encouraging kinksters who enjoy reading to join in! We’ll alternate between fiction and non-fiction books. Discussions will be videos on our YouTube channel with more conversations happening in our Patron-only Discord server. View the 2021 list here!

Feel like a total noob? Don’t know what you don’t know? We offer resources for new kinksters here on our site and a list of resources you can find around the internet. Start with D/s for Beginners and then check out our BDSM resource page.

Do you like BDSM toys, kinky gear, and fun swag? You can shop John Brownstone’s kinky store at The Kinkery or buy Loving BDSM merch on Redbubble!

Check out the Loving BDSM Blog

We share tips and how-tos, answer BDSM questions, offer our thoughts and insight, share product reviews, and publish the show notes for every podcast episode on our blog! Take a look!

episode 266 of the Loving BDSM podcast

What We Believe to Be True About BDSM

Could we encompass every belief or philosophy we have about BDSM in one episode? No way. And if you’ve listened to any past episodes you already have a clear idea of what we think....

minisode 15 of Loving BDSM on drop

Minisode 15: Drop

We’ve discussed drop before but specifically to submissives after subspace or as a reminder that yes, Dominants experience drop, too. This week, we’re sharing five things we think you need to know about drop,...

episode 265 of the Loving BDSM podcast

Coming Out of Hibernation

It took forever to figure out how to explain this week’s episode in a concise way but “coming out of hibernation” is fairly close. We mean the hibernation we’ve gone through during current stressful...

minisode 14 of Loving BDSM on BDSM titles

Minisode 14: BDSM Title Tips

This week it’s just the tip, y’all…just five tips on figuring out, dealing with, and using BDSM titles. Have we talked about the topic a LOT in the past? Absolutely. Why? Because it’s both...

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