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About us

WHAT DO WE DO ?

We help kinksters like you have happy, healthy power exchange relationships. No matter how you define BDSM and no matter what kind of kinky relationship you want, we’re here to help!

WHO ARE WE ?

We are John Brownstone (the Dom) and Kayla Lords (the sub), a married D/s couple, sharing our thoughts, feelings, and experiences on this thing we call BDSM.

Grow and Learn With Us!

Listen

In our weekly podcast, we discuss all aspects of how to have a happy, healthy power exchange relationship.

Watch

You can watch the podcast during a weekly live stream, plus learn more about BDSM, check out product reviews, and more!

Join

We believe in having a community to help you grow and to offer support on this BDSM journey. Join our kinky community on Patreon!

banner with Loving BDSM logos and text extra help, info, and fun stuff

Still trying to figure out how you feel about D/s, power exchange, and BDSM? Sign up for 30 Days of D/s, a free email program to help you think about BDSM in a more manageable way and figure out what YOU want. Learn more here.

In 2021, we’re re-introducing Kinky Book Club and encouraging kinksters who enjoy reading to join in! We’ll alternate between fiction and non-fiction books. Discussions will be videos on our YouTube channel with more conversations happening in our Patron-only Discord server. View the 2021 list here!

Feel like a total noob? Don’t know what you don’t know? We offer resources for new kinksters here on our site and a list of resources you can find around the internet. Start with D/s for Beginners and then check out our BDSM resource page.

Do you like BDSM toys, kinky gear, and fun swag? You can shop John Brownstone’s kinky store at The Kinkery or buy Loving BDSM merch on Redbubble!

Check out the Loving BDSM Blog

We share tips and how-tos, answer BDSM questions, offer our thoughts and insight, share product reviews, and publish the show notes for every podcast episode on our blog! Take a look!

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What is Orgasm Control? | 30 Days of D/s

Beyond “one of our [JB and Kayla] favorite ways to play with kink,” orgasm control is exactly as labeled: yielding control of one’s orgasms to someone else. In power exchange this often looks like...

episode 281 of the Loving BDSM podcast

Vulnerability and Power Exchange

We’ve mentioned this topic so many times in the past, but we’re finally talking about it: the importance of vulnerability in power exchange. Our definition and view of vulnerability comes from Brene Brown’s talks,...

episode 280 of the Loving BDSM podcast

Funishment

We’ve mentioned funishment many times in the past, but we’ve never devoted an episode to it. And it’s probably a good thing we’re doing this now because Kayla’s views on it have changed over...

A Beginner’s Guide to Anal Training

Anal isn’t inherently kinky, but anal training is something that comes up in plenty of power exchange dynamics. Partly to prepare for future anal sex and partly for the control and “training” aspect between...

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