About us


We help kinksters like you have happy, healthy power exchange relationships. No matter how you define BDSM and no matter what kind of kinky relationship you want, we’re here to help!


We are John Brownstone (the Dom) and Kayla Lords (the sub), a married D/s couple, sharing our thoughts, feelings, and experiences on this thing we call BDSM.

Grow and Learn With Us!


In our weekly podcast, we discuss all aspects of how to have a happy, healthy power exchange relationship.


You can watch the podcast during a weekly live stream, plus learn more about BDSM, check out product reviews, and more!


We believe in having a community to help you grow and to offer support on this BDSM journey. Join our kinky community on Patreon!

banner with Loving BDSM logos and text extra help, info, and fun stuff

Still trying to figure out how you feel about D/s, power exchange, and BDSM? Sign up for 30 Days of D/s, a free email program to help you think about BDSM in a more manageable way and figure out what YOU want. Learn more here.

In 2021, we’re introducing Kinky Book Club and encouraging kinksters who enjoy reading to join in! We’ll alternate between fiction and non-fiction books. Discussions will be videos on our YouTube channel with more conversations happening in our Patron-only Discord server. More info coming soon!

Feel like a total noob? Don’t know what you don’t know? We offer resources for new kinksters here on our site and a list of resources you can find around the internet. Start with D/s for Beginners and then check out our BDSM resource page.

Do you like BDSM toys, kinky gear, and fun swag? You can shop John Brownstone’s kinky store at The Kinkery or buy Loving BDSM merch on Redbubble!

Check out the Loving BDSM Blog

We share tips and how-tos, answer BDSM questions, offer our thoughts and insight, share product reviews, and publish the show notes for every podcast episode on our blog! Take a look!

episode 239 of the Loving BDSM podcast discussing kinks vs fetishes

Kinks vs. Fetishes

Is there a difference between a kink and a fetish? What is that difference? Does that difference even matter. This week’s episode is a loose conversation to explore the definitions of those two words...

Loving BDSM special podcast episode to introduce The Kinkery, a new kinky fuckery shop by John Brownstone

Special Episode: Introducing the Kinkery

It’s here! It’s here! Not just a special Thursday podcast but John Brownstone’s new shop: The Kinkery! This episode ran longer than we intended (typical, lol). A big portion of this episode is us...

episode 238 of the Loving BDSM podcast

When Your Kinks Don’t Align

We’ve talked about this in different episodes in the past, but it’s time to give it a standalone episode. Whether in an established power exchange relationship or meeting a new partner, not every kink...

episode 237 of the Loving BDSM podcast discussing edge play and risk

Understanding Edge Play and Risk in BDSM

It’s the start of October — aka Kinktober. We thought it would be fun and appropriate to talk kink. We’re going in hot with a big (and sometimes heavy) topic: edge play, danger, and...

episode 236 of the Loving BDSM podcast

Dealing with Feelings of Shame

While we don’t get into all the causes for shame in this episode, we also understand that it’s a heavy topic. Feel free to ignore or come back to this one later, if needed....

episode 235 of the Loving BDSM podcast answering audience BDSM questions


We had a rough weekend in our personal lives so took the easy way out for this week’s podcast episode. We asked y’all for questions on Instagram (at that handle Kayla hates). And y’all...

masculine person wearing leather harness for Stockroom banner ad